Friday, October 26, 2012

Sleeping Arrangements

Apparently, Mother has been spending a lot more time with her cat, Mr. Smothers, than with me. Not only waking hours, but he gets to snuggle all night long if he wishes. I bet she even gives him cookies then, too...

Why would she want to wake up each morning to a psychotic little carnivore that tries to cut off her oxygen when she could wake up to a face like this every day?

Of course, some days I do wake up on the wrong side of the bed...

I'm not perfect.

But neither are you, Mother. Neither are you.

And I'm certainly better than a cat.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

The (Not So) Great Escape

Fugitive number one:

Fugitive numbers two, three and four:

Good News: The donkeys ran away today!

Bad News: Aunt Marilyn and Mother brought them back.

During the course of barn hygiene, donkeys slithered through the open gate into the back pasture. A section of fence had been knocked down, and before Aunt Marilyn knew it, there were miniature donkeys on the loose in a respectable neighborhood.

Mother rushed from wherever it is she goes all day, and met up with Aunt Marilyn and the donkeys cavorting in random yards well down the hill and far from home. While I and part of the Red Mare Herd grazed in the now open back pasture, Mother came into sight tugging one of the jennets behind her. She hustled the donkey to the Small and went to the barn for another wee halter. Julia's pathetic donkey cries rang out, and Mother encouraged her to tell those other donkeys to hurry home.

By the time Mother traipsed again through the back field, the remaining fugitives were in the closest neighbor's yard, and relatively easily secured.

I think they enjoyed their party... they are out there right now debating another attempt...

We've got everything here we would want... why leave?

I not only question the intelligence of the donkeys in this escapade, but the humans as well.

Why go out of your way to bring this back?


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The Very Bad Cookie

Mother was up earlier this week, whence she pet me and said hello, and then went and played with a donkey for forever. Apparently, they were sniff-mauled by a large dog on their sojourns, but that isn't pertinent to MY story.

Upon their return, Mother finally felt properly contrite of her neglect of me, and said she would bring me cookies. She went to the barn porch, and returned proffering something that smelled reminiscent of peppermint.

I must say, Mother has horrible taste. The "treat" she gave me was revolting.

I sniffed... pepperminty. I accepted, took two slow crunches, then stopped. I looked at her with wounded eyes. I mean, this was gross. She offered me a second. Uh, no way. Un-uhn. Mother handed one to the wee donkey, who true to form consumed it with no hesitation, although it took her a while. They were not only gross treats, but very solid.

Mother offered the last of the three to Callie, who ate it because her treat offerings are limited. Mother came back to me with a small handful of my beloved Herballs. I begrudgingly accepted them. Mother suspected I still had the remnants of the first treat lurking in my mouth.

I'll never tell.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Myriad Explanations of an Unacceptable Nature

I have been woefully silent of late. Mother has denied me of my internet access because SHE no longer has internet access at home.

Apparently she no longer has a home? Or she lives somewhere else? Something like that.

She still comes and visits me and the donkeys, so whatever. I mean, I get cookies. Although yesterday she spent 12.5 seconds giving me treats and 2.5 HOURS playing with donkeys.


The weather has been lovely, we've started going out in the back pasture again... it had been closed off for a while after the fall rains had come, to let the grass grow again. Mother NEEDS to bring the camera up. She NEEDS to give me more internet time.

Maybe you could put a burr in her ear? I know that would bother me!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Odd Beyond Odd

I don't really have anything to explain this. I just like it. Trust me, I've been tempted to do just this many, many times.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Sunday morning, far far away

Roscoe: We have movement at the house. Repeat, movement at the house.

Chestnut Number 6: Shut up.

Zeus: What's she doing now? What's she doing now?

Roscoe: Movement at middle barn. Repeat, movement at middle barn.

Chestnuts Number 2,4,5 and 6: Shut up!

Chestnut Number 1: It doesn't count until she opens the door. She probably won't even feed us. sob...

Max: Hey, she's filling the grain cart. SHE'S FILLING THE GRAIN CART!! 

Dark Bay: What? What's going on, I can't see!!

Zeus: Yeah, we can't see, what's she doing now?

Roscoe: Movement to big barn. Repeat, movement to big barn. Grain cart in sight. Grain cart in tow.

door rolls open... cue the nicker chorus

cue splashes

Max: Me me me me me me. YES!

Chestnut Number 1: Ok, we are getting fed today. But it means nothing about the future. Please step away from my feeder. I won't eat until you do.

Roscoe: Hurry, me, hurry, me, hurry, me...

Chestnut Number 2: Hurry. Hurry. Hurry. YES!

Trouble: Ha, me next. YES!

Chestnut Number 3: FEED ME!! DAMN IT!! bang

Roscoe: YES!

Appaloosa: Don't forget me. Don't forget me.

Chestnut Number 3: Now! YES! bang

Apaloosa: Don't forget me!..gup...oops. Thank you.

Jones: Thank you. (Slug! Stupid slow humans...)

Chestnut Number 8: What is taking so long?? What is taking so long?

George: YEAH, HURRY!!

Chestnut Number 4: Glum num, swallow Haven't you all noticed that our food has those other pellets? And our joints feel better? She has to add a joint supplement, and Max get's extra stuff, and... anyway, it just takes longer.

Chestnut number 6: One thing has nothing to do with the other! Joint supplement?? Freak. Hurry, stupid human. HURRY! thanks.
Zeus: Take your time. I'd like the sweet feed, please. Just a bit of pellets. Well, that's fine, whatever. Are we getting hay before we go out? Aren't all those Chestnuts insane? I mean, I'm chestnut and I don't act like that. Oh, yes, some of the powder, thanks. Thank you, excuse me while I eat this before... well, you know, anyway, thanks.
Dark Bay: Feed me before I bang the door off. I'll do it! Don't think I won't!

Chestnut Number 8: What is taking so long?!?!

Chestnut Number 7: This is disgusting! SPPPPTT!! sling sling sling

George: Me now, me now? Me? Oh, thank you tiny human.

Human: sigh
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