That which we do not speak of

July 14th, 2011
How to blister** your horse's undercarriage in 5 easy steps

Step 1: Bathe grey horse

Step 2: Spray grey horse with ShowShine* (from the nifty new aerosol can) because you are enamored with the thought that horse could still be clean and shiny grey tomorrow. Note you are also deluded.

Step 3: Apply En-dunce* fly spray, because you do not want horse to suffer.

Step 4: In a fit of conscience, apply Gnasty Gcream* instead of the usual pretty pink SWAT (since grey horse is a manly sort), to his delicate nether regions.

Step 5: Arrive back the next day to a seeping, engorged, and very hot scrotum.

*We won't mention any names, to protect the innocent... and the guilty.

** Because pinfiring is not OK.

PS~ I know I am a moron, I feel ashamed my horse had to suffer this, I swear I was careful where I sprayed stuff... poor boy...
In response to worries that I sprayed things directly onto his private area:

I did not spray the *ShowShine* on his manly parts. I did not spray the fly spray on his manly parts. I am assuming some drift may have occurred Although after reading SmartPak reviews, some one else using the Gn_ Cream had horses that blistered and lost hair ~ theirs sounded like it took more than one application.

The poor beast was immediately cold hosed, washed gently with the mildest soap to remove any remaining contaminants on the skin, hosed for 10 more minutes, lovingly blotted dry with a clean towel, and left to the air overnight. He received bute with his din-din and antihistamine in case it was more of an allergic reaction than contact dermatitis or, uh, chemical burn.

This AM he looked marginally less swollen, certainly less "tightness" to the skin, and dry with no weeping or sweating. Still hot to the touch but not as bad as the previous evening. Meds repeated. Cold hosed.

This evening he was a hair better than morning, although some of the swelling originally above the sheath opening had descended into the sheath bottom (making his superfluous vestigial nipples more buxom). Higher up there were a few very minor breaks in the skin, to which small areas I applied a very small amount of SWAT, simply to keep any bugs off. He was lunged lightly at trot to help with the swelling, cold hosed, blotted dry, meds repeated with dinner.

He appeared to look better after the exercise and hosing, but obviously still some unhappiness going on down there. He continues to be watched closely, and will have the vet out if it doesn't show good progress soon.

That ought to be an amusing history to take...

Poor horse. Although other than the expected initial objection to touching the area, he doesn't show any signs of pain. He is obviously a very, very stoic sort.
July 15th, 2011
Red face Update on Boyfriend's "condition"

This evening the affected area looked much improved. The heat is almost completely gone, the swelling of inner thighs and ... groin? lowest torso? is almost completely resolved. The only remaining place with hard, lumpish swelling is the bottom of his sheath, which is probably mostly gravity edema from some of the higher swelling, since it wasn't much of an issue until all the other swelling finally started subsiding.

Unfortunately for Bif, there is now some loose-ish skin that he didn't have before "the incident". The hair is pretty well gone in lots of the inner thigh area. You have to understand he always has a lot of hair, enough that he gets a "passport" every spring. His vet, checking out the healing castration incision in December of the year I got him, exclaimed "That is the hairiest scrotum I've ever seen!"

It's good to have a claim to fame, I suppose.

Fortunately for Bif, his penis was not affected at all. I must say, though, after staring in the general area for ten minutes this evening, (while sitting on the step stool, so my eye level was rather low)... I am not sure I knew horses have peach fuzz hair on the end of their actual member. Is there some sort of prize for overall hairiest horse?

He has a lot of tiny dandruffy flaking of the skin, but no more breaks in the skin than he had yesterday evening.

No stretch marks, at least not that I could see...

He got cold hosed again tonight, with mild soap to get off some of the flaking followed by 10 more minutes of hosing.

He got the last of the meds tonight, I think, unless he looks like he needs another day of bute in the morning. I will probably use the zinc oxide starting tomorrow (Wonder Drug, Cures Everything!!). And he has definitely had an increase in his treat consumption these last three days.

Thanks to everyone for all the well wishes.

If you can't be a good example... then you'll just have to be a horrible warning. ~ Catherine Aird
July 17th, 2011
Last Update

Since I'm sure everyone has been waiting with baited breath :

Yesterday, Boyfriend looked markedly better, with just some hard swelling remaining at the southernmost region of his sheath. He got one single last dose of bute yesterday.

Today, his swelling seems to have completely resolved. Even his vestigial nipples have reduced to their usual size.

God love him, even when it was at its worst, he'd let me hose him everywhere and prod about. If I were a horse, I'd have kicked that human's head in!

Thanks again for everyone's advice and well wishes. Don't let this happen to you... er, him.
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