Friday, May 25, 2012

Mother Needs a New Horse

Mother needs a new horse.

Specifically, an Icelandic horse.

From Iceland.

I will go over and find one for her.

It will probably take until, oh, mid-October?

Because it is really hot here...

All right, fine. Perhaps Mother does not actually need an Icelandic horse.

But I need a vacation. It is entirely too hot, and it's still only May!!

I hear Anartica is lovely this time of year. Where is the number for that travel agent...

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

A Spot (or three) of Unpleasantness

Mother was disgruntled when she arrived at her dwelling this afternoon. How would I know this? Because Mother whined about it ALL evening. Apparently there was a dead baby opossum in her front yard that was basting nicely in the warm muggy afternoon sun. She smelled it from 60 feet away when she got out of her car.

It was percolating directly in front of her room.

Her room... that had the window open... and the fan on... drawing in air from the outside...

Not the actual opossum in question.

Apparently, later still, there was an unfortunate smell of skunk which they traced as coming from IN THE GARAGE. Fortunately, Mother's vehicle was not the source. Another vehicle re-killed an unfortunate roadway victim, and that driver will be reminded to show due respect for the dearly departed for quite some time to come...

So, really, the odd spot on my shoulder is nothing of note. Mother was intrigued by it, noticing its presence for the first time when she hosed me this weekend.

You don't see it? It's right there!!
Mother says this is no cause for alarm, but it is intriguing as it has not been there before, even when she hosed me a few months ago during the early heat spells. She is accustomed to my ever spreading fleabites in the front, my dapples in the barrel, which are spreading rearward towards my hitherto stronghold-of-roan rump... but this new random spot of pink skin on my otherwise dark hide is an oddity.

I tried looking for it myself, but my options in the way of a mirror are somewhat lacking.
What? I'm not vain, I'm just monitoring my health.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

While you were sleeping

So Mother's wi-fi for me up here has been sketchy at best. I've been eating a lot of grass, but really, it's been kind of boring.

Apparently, she is more concerned with humans and their needs than my need to communicate with the outside world. In the past weeks, though the world has largely come to me...

Last week on Monday, the friendly vet man came to visit. I waited eagerly by the gate for him, so I was the first horse that got shot. Unfortunately, it wasn't Happy Place juice, just the muscle stuff. Oh, well. It was still nice to visit with him, and it pays to keep him on your good side.

And Aunt Nancy came to visit me with Mother, and the second day she brought the man with her. It was nice to see them, it seems like forever since she was here. Mother says we'll be seeing a lot more of them again soon, as Aunt Nancy's herd will be migrating eastward soon.

Oh, and speaking of herds... did everyone hear that Fenway has doubled his herd? Apparently Fat Donkey's acquisitions spurred some competitive inner... uh, something... in Fenway. I hope FarmWife is enjoying her enhanced view of equinedom as everyone settles in and gets to know one another. Hopefully for their sakes, it goes more smoothly than Fat Donkey and his posse.

So, um... that's about it. Uh... maybe next week will be more interesting...

Maybe there will be some kind of cookie truck/tractor trailer accident where no one is hurt but where cookies are in need of immediate homes and I will be able to provide them said good home.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Silver Screen

I think I should have set my sights west, not east. I think I should have gone to Hollywood. I know I missed "Legend", but surely there is still a suitable role for me?

Hungry Horse # 3, maybe? I know you have to start at the grass and work your way up...

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Experiencing Technical Difficulties?

The problem with cameras is that they encourage humans to live in another time. There is discord between how things are and how they think they are, and this is the reason so many animals are difficult to photograph.

See, when a human is busy snapping away with the bright flashy thing, they are not living in the present moment. In trying to perfectly capture the present moment to enjoy at a later time, they are ruining it utterly. And guess what?

That moment is gone now. You can't have it back.


Some of us don't mind the camera as much, if we either a) get enough "in the moment" time with our human or b) are already off doing our own thing, and how the humans spend their time is really of no concern to us.

So if you find your subject "difficult", realize that YOU, human, are actually the problem.

How clear do we have to make it?

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