Sunday, November 8, 2009

Clippers...Is there anything they can't do?

Mother mutters that at least I can be beautiful, if not useful. I am useful! I do... lots of thing. None come to mind right now, but lots of things!

I have come to like clippers, because Mother is happy when she clips me, and I feel special. Mother strangely seems to think the more hair she removes from my person, the more beautiful I am. I know I am beautiful exactly how I am, at all times, even when the side of my head and neck is green because I used the warm pillow the night before. Mother hates when I do that, so I try to make sure it is the mane side I lay down on. Henh henh henh henh.

Oh, so clippers. When I first met clippers, I really didn't like them. I didn't realize that Ohio would be so much warmer than North Dakota, so I grew my normal coat. Big mistake! It felt like 95 degrees in that thing when I arrived in December. Pony Devlin and I would sweat just eating grass. By springtime, though, I'd gotten used to the balmy winter in Ohio, and when Mother decided to introduce me to clipping, well, let's just say I thought that was unnecessary.

My biggest fear of the clippers, beyond their vibrations and the noise and the way your skin gets tugged sometimes (Mother says it's because I have such dense hair and that clipper blades can only take so much), was the scary narrow snake that followed the clippers wherever Mother took them. Sometimes the snake would touch me, and that was awful! Eventually I realized that, like the blue snake the water comes from, it's not a real bite-you kind of snake. But I still watch it... you never know when those things might turn.

One time, after I was already perfect with clippers, Mother used a small little clipper that didn't have a snake. I thought that was creepy! And it seemed louder than the snakey one. I think she ended up using it on the cat. Good riddance. I have gotten used to the snake, but noise is always bad. Just have to keep watching the snake... watch it... watch...

Oh, so learning about clippers. The first time with that thing around, even silent, I was in real fear for my life. A snake. And it levitates off the ground. And it was by my legs. I really need those to run away from danger... like snakes! Mother tried to work with me many times, and I was always still... nervous. One day she gave me hay. It was a huge breakthrough for me. I was eating and she started clipping... and I was still eating! I hadn't died. The snake, while icky, didn't hurt me. Mother was able to trim my legs, and trim my withers (she said I look like a yak with hair halfway down it's back, and that trimming there would make the saddle pad look and feel better... I can't tell the difference. I can't see up there very well.). I still needed a little convincing with trimming the area right behind my ears... that vibbbbration is really irritating. But I was good. And she took all the hair out of my jowls and underside of my face, because she told me I don't want to look like a yak. I've honestly never even seen one, but they sound like they have a lot of hair.

Then we got to my ears. MY ears. Not her ears. She kinda let me have that one, so we didn't fuss.

Funny thing, though, one time when I was sedated up at the doctor's... Oh, every time I went I got sedated, it was great! I love vets! Anyway, one time Mother trimmed my ears when I was still a little groggy. And you know what? It really wasn't that bad. Since then she has always been able to do my ears. I am such a good boy.

She just trims the outside, and I always have my whiskers, except when I went to Equine Affaire. She even took some of my longer chesthairs and neckhairs off for that. She called them aberrant sprouters. Hey, I did what I had to to stay warm up north.

So tonight, Mother brings out the clippers. I was a little surprised, because she had gotten them out last night, too, and she already did my legs and behind the ears and down the ears and the underside of my face. Tonight she said I was sweating so much, she would take off more of my head... What?! I heard her tell people she was going to take off my face!!

But all she did was clip my forehead and down my front, and got all around the base of my ears and under my forelock. I felt a lot lighter, and less itchy. No more sweat! She muttered something about track marks but that it would all be grown back by December anyway. By then it will be colder and I will like the hair. I don't grow a thick coat like I had to when I was really young, because it is really hot here in the south. I still sweat easily, but not as much as that first winter.

Mother wanted to take a picture for my blog, but I don't like to look less than my best, and she trimmed down over my face scar, so people can see it, and I don't like that. And I don't want people seeing my track marks. I wasn't even a racehorse, I shouldn't have track marks.

I got three cookies for my goodnight kiss. I love clippers.


  1. William Pendleton can relate to the snake at the end of the clippers. Last spring I got so fed up with his unruly grey coat, I vaccumed him....

  2. "they just look dangerous like they might wrap around my legs and stop me from running....if running were suddenly required"~WP

    Exactly! If you don't have your legs, you don't have anything.

    I don't know why humans think all of these devices are neccessary. And why do these devices need snakes? And why do some snakes spit water? It's very weird human, this human world.

    I just want to be petted and have cookies.
    Well, I must admit the convenience of having my feet picked out is nice... And hay is good, so I don't have to look for grass when it's raining out.


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...