Ohh, ohhhh, OHHH!!! And, when she does pay attention to me, she says I look like a halter horse gone wrong, or maybe a pig. Mother, there must be something wrong with your camera settings; the weight tape still has me under 950 pounds.
How I propose Mother remedies these problems:
1) Pay attention to ME!
2) Give me cookies. I am not fat.
3) Please check your camera settings or get me a new one. That is just embarrassing.