You are a wise mule, well experienced in the ways of humans, and the proper training of cookie and care humans. I have a query: How do you keep your FW so close at hand? Mother keeps abandoning me. Sure, the aunts provide me with my food, and I have plenty of equine companionship, but why is she not here every evening with my cookies? How hard can her "work" really be? How many excuses can she come up with?
Oh, this photo was, of course, inspired by you. It's not quite right, but the best I could do, with my shabby photographer.
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Boyfriend, you're too sweet! A whole post for me? Really?ReplyDelete
Here's my advice: Give your human mother as many low-grade stressors as possible. Remember, you want her to be stressed, not depressed, so no terminal illnesses or natural disasters, please! A ramshackle farmhouse, in need of many repairs; Several young children, preferably fussing; 26 year-old vehicles prone to frequent breakdowns; and a low-wage job that renders her working outside the home useless. Give her a hard working husband who will win the bread and bring the bacon, so to speak, and leave her home with the little ones. She will turn to you for comfort, and you will be her solace and her joy. She will justify never being able to ride, and she will no longer blame your leg—she will blame the children. You can't go wrong!
Ears to you,
I know I have stressed her... I thought I was doing it right. But it seems you want me to provide stressors other than me:
She doesn't own a house, ramshackle or otherwise
She has no human larvae
Her car is younger than I am, and seems to run OK. I wouldn't want that to break, it brings hay and treats for me sometimes and if it broke I'd never see her... how would she get here?
She says she "has to go to work", so they must give her enough reason to keep going back
I don't know what a husband is, but Mother definitely doesn't have one
There is just so much to change!