I have been disfigured! Look, look, it's clearly visible!
What do you mean, you can't see it? Stop looking at my fat donkey in the background. Look at me!
See it? You can hardly miss it. Mother, in her questionable human wisdom, had me wear my fly mask. It is a black, funny film that goes all over my face and down my nose. It also has tight yet strangely stretchy tubes that trouble my ears.
I told her I didn't want to wear it. She was insistent, and I acquiesced. Well the bottom moved around on my poor little schnozzle all night as I chewed, chewed, chewed out in the pasture.
I got a rub spot.
As if that wasn't bad enough... NOW look at me!
Pink Swat, too? Aren't I allowed just a little pride, a little dignity? Has she no shame?
Sigh. She'll probably try to say that, on my dark skin, it looks purple.
But I know the truth...