Thursday, December 29, 2011

Jumpy, Grumpy, and Lumpy

Mother was GRUMPY today. She tried to take pictures of me, but it was too dark for her camera, although it wasn't really dark yet. She grumbled a bit, but I followed her to the gate, as I presumed I would get fed my dinner.

I made my way through the barnyard to the feeding mat where Callie and Bert sometimes get their hay fed to them. There were still lots of bits of hay, including some delicately pre-masticated parcels. Yummy! Mother went out to get my halter and lead rope, and Scooter (aka Bert) came out near the mat to stare at me while I ate the hay he obviously hadn't wanted before.

Mother I think came back out, but I didn't notice, I guess... these were some really good little hay bits. Callie and Bert get a different grassier hay than the alfafa-y hay Belle and I get so I was concentrating on that and suddenly SOMETHING TOUCHED ME on my hip. I jumped about 12 inches up and about 3 feet away. I really should have kicked out, but I knew Bert and Mother were nearby (and any predator would obviously go for one of them first), so I am glad I looked back as I leapt.

It was Mother! Mother? Really? You scared me half to death. Don't sneak up on me like that. Geesh! You almost always talk to me first... what were you thinking?

Mother sat in the chair while I chewed cuds. As soon as she plopped down, Fat Donkey sailed up alongside. He does that anytime a human sits down in the barnyard. "Pet me, pet me, pet me."


Anyway, no sooner had donkey swooped in than Rosie Grier (the cat, not the football guy)  came up from the other side, and implored to Mother that he be allowed access to her person. Mother said she didn't want him on her. Rosie climbed up. Mother said, "I'm not petting you." Rosie sneezed. He tried to rub himself on Mother's face. She moved her head out of his reach. Seeking solace, Rosie turned...

The donkey's head was hovering over Mother's knees. Rosie started rubbing against the donkey's face. Donkey closed his eyes, and tried rubbing back. Mother grimaced as Rosie's claws dug into her legs as he tried to brace himself against the donkey's affections.

Mother sighed that she must be pretty grumpy if these two still didn't really cheer up. I swear I saw her smile, though.

As I had finished most of the edible hay leavings, Mother put my halter on me. Unfortunately, she had dificulty getting it over my ears and tangled forelock, and I expressed my annoyance by moving my head and jumping around.

She called me a bad name and made a disparaging remark about my IQ and told me I better stand still and behave. gulp. I stood stock still. I allowed her to wrestle my recalcitrant ear into position. Mother was obviously in no mood for fun, so I had best humor her.

While she picked my feet on the dark and windy barn porch, a very creepy place at night, I felt a sudden touch of fuzzy terror on my front legs. AHHHHH!!!! I lept backwards, or tried to, but it was difficult as Mother was holding a hind leg and didn't want me to sit on her. She called me more bad names, and Rosie skittered away. Oh, it was just a cat! I wasn't sure what the heck was there... sigh.

At this point, Mother curried and brushed me and decided I needed a massage. I have been tense lately, I suppose. She worked on my left side, and that was nice. She then started on my right side. Ooh, neck, shoulders, that's nice.

When she started on my back, however, I sidestepped away. That HURTS. Mother looked at me in confusion. She stood on her little step thingy and told me if I wanted a massage I should move back over there. I stayed where I was. She stayed where she was. A minute passed. Finally, she sighed, stepped down, moved the step thingy by my side, stepped back on, and began again.

Owwwww. Owwwwww. Owwwww-OOWWWWW!! I raised my hind foot. Um, my back is spasming now, Mother. Thanks. She kept working on it. Ooohh. If I stand like this, and press up against her hands... ahh, that's a bit better. OWWWWW.... Oww...oohhhh... ahh, that's better.

Mother worked on my back and hindquarters for quite a while. She wasn't sure if I was sore from protecting my not-so-good leg or from my wild running and bucking extravaganza earlier this weekend. All I know was I've been feeling pretty sore, but I feel a bit better now.

I ate on the lawn while Mother prepared my meal. I finally got my dinner (not sloppy enough) and some cookies and turned back out. My after dinner hay was shared with Belle as Mother left.

So it was kind of an odd evening. If Mother is going to be all grumpy and scary and hurt-y like that, she should just STAY HOME.

Oh, but have someone deliver me some cookies, please. Thanks.


  1. Did any of the bad names rhyme with trucker, BIF ? That'd be a pretty good clue as to her mood, I think.

  2. In fact, yes. One related to a male donkey... um, one to a unintelligent donkey; more trucker comments... Hold the truck still...

  3. ohh Boyfriend! Next time your mother is in that mood, just put your head on her shoulder and do that cute horsey sigh thing you do. She'll relax.

  4. Trucks have a habit of jumping around which is why we need to tell them to be still so much. Some truckers can be really ignorant and I like to point that out, sometimes several times a day and not always quietly either. But I'm harmless really, with a bark much worse than my bite. I'm sure mother is similar. :)


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